Some Thoughts on Marriage

We offer below some examples, used in previous ceremonies, of how our celebrant can introduce some additional thoughts on the subject of marriage. Please use these as inspiration, and possibly a guide to help you devise your own ceremony with our celebrant.

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Who is it that brings Myriam to Robert?
(Father) Her mother and I. (He will place the bride’s hand in the groom’s and step back.)

Robert and Myriam, life is given to each of us as individuals, and yet we must learn to live together. Love is given to us by our family and friends. We learn to love by being loved. Learning to love and living together is one of life’s greatest challenges and is the shared goal of a married life. The measure of true love is a love both freely given and freely accepted. As you travel through life together, I ask you to remember that the true measure of success, the true avenue to joy and peace, is to be found within the love you hold in your hearts.

We are told love conquers all. As your lives continue to interweave as one pattern, remember that it was love that brought you here today, it is love that will make this a glorious union, and it is love which will cause this union to endure.

Real love is something beyond the warmth and glow, the excitement and romance of being deeply in love. It is caring as much about the welfare and happiness of your life partner as about your own. Real love is not total absorption in each other, rather it is looking outward in the same direction together. Love makes burdens lighter because you divide them. It makes joys more intense because you share them. It makes you stronger, so you can be involved with life in ways you dare not risk alone.

The point of marriage is not to create communality by tearing down all boundaries. On the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his or her solitude and thus shows the other the greatest possible trust. This requires closeness and distance – closeness of a couple growing together and enough distance to allow each partner to be individual. A good partner in such a marriage will be loving and caring and, above all, a best friend and soulmate.

Getting married shows a desire by two people to share themselves and their experiences with each other. A successful marriage calls for honesty, patience, a willingness to accept each other for who they are as an individual, and a sense of humour usually helps! In a close marriage each partner cares for the other and supports them in what they do.

More than this, a commitment to your marriage can also inspire you to provide love, friendship, help and comfort for the each other in times of joy and hardship. It offers the opportunity for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal. It is a physical and an emotional joining of two people in love.

Your commitment deepens and enriches every aspect of life as it is a commitment to life, the best, that two people can form with each other. A husband and wife are each others best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener and critic.

Marriage is more than just a social convention or a legal contract between two people. In its highest form, true marriage is the union of two souls already attuned to one another. When such a true bond already exists between a man and a woman, it is fitting that a public commitment be made, and so we are here today to join together these two people who are already one in spirit.

Stephen and Karlien, you are now taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person whom you love the most in all the world. In making this commitment to one another, you are agreeing to share strength, responsibilities and love, all the days of your lives.

May you always need one another, not so much to fill the emptiness as to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not for lack. May you embrace one another, but never overshadow one another. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another.

We want to thank you again for making our wedding celebration so wonderful! You took so much care and made our wedding unforgetable… We will always remember our special day, it was so emotional! You are really gifted with your talent.

Charlene and Mirko