It was 21 December 2019 and I found myself in the Universal Hall surrounded by a couple of hundred other meditating community members. We were participating in the annual Winter Solstice celebration.
It was the perfect end to the most wonderful, life-changing year in which I’d moved from Oxfordshire up to Scotland to join the Foundation. I had worked my way through LCG and was currently in short-term LEAP, waiting to join the next long-term LEAP group. [These were programmes through which volunteers moved before becoming coworkers.]
I’d also met the most wonderful man, Rudolf. We were both living in Cluny and the universe conspired to move me into the room next door to his. I knew exactly what trajectory my life was on … almost!
It was my first Solstice gathering and after meditating for an hour, I took my place in line to enter the spiral. It was beautiful, peaceful and calm. It was everything I could possibly wish for and expect to be experiencing; and then something very unexpected happened.
I was halfway round the spiral, walking slowly, calmly, deliberately, enjoying the feel of the ritual and the blanketing, womb-like silence. I was looking at the candle in the palm of my hand – which I was to light once I got to the middle of the spiral – when I heard a voice. It was loud and clear in the quiet room, packed with silent participants, and came from just behind my right shoulder.
It said, ‘When you light this candle I’ll be ready to be born when you’re ready for me.’
I think I must have jumped slightly in surprise, but I continued my slow meditative pace onwards to the middle of the spiral. I shakily lit my small tea light. I then rather hurriedly walked over to pick my Angel for the year from the display of cards. ‘Awakening’ was the name of the Angel on the card. In retrospect I feel she rather picked me than I her.
Now I know this is Findhorn and you can’t fling a crystal here without hitting someone who’s got an incredible story to tell – but I really did think I was going a little bit mad.
I didn’t tell anyone about the voice, not even Rudolf, but it was very much on my mind. I was convinced I wasn’t going to have children. I was 42 and a doctor had told me motherhood was very unlikely.
Well what did he know, because three months later I was pregnant!
I was given an estimated due date of 1 January but I felt strongly that our baby would arrive on or close to the Winter Solstice.
In the end Abigail landed earth-side on 20 December. I remember telling the midwife the story of how she’d announced she was coming as I was walking the spiral. The midwife then pointed out that it was a leap year, so technically, yes – she had been born a year to the day after she first announced her intention to incarnate.